the nonchalance epidemic

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Substack essay exploring cultural shift toward apathy and why expressing care is seen as uncool.

the nonchalance epidemic

There is a performance of indifference that seems to have infected everything. A collective brushing-off, a studied detachment, a calculated apathy. Enthusiasm is embarrassing; the safest thing is to be unmoved. We are training ourselves to care just enough to seem aware, but not enough to risk looking naïve. This nonchalance is everywhere. We preface our interests with self-depreciation, as if to admit that we enjoy something without irony is to hand over a weapon to be used against us. Texts punctuated with a “lol” to soften the reality of sincerity, an “idk” to dodge commitment, the act of leaving someone on read as a power play. Instagram captions are dry to the point of parody, as if preemptively mocking the art of sharing itself. Vulnerability has become a liability, and detachment the default. i am very much party to the text-suffixingWhich is why I say (with dejection) that the era of the shrug is upon us. One in which even to care too much about the news is unacceptable, no matter which way your political ideologies lie. The only acceptable sociopolitical stance is arms crossed, eyebrows raised, unimpressed. The news cycle itself moves too fast for sustained outrage; we burn through our empathy reserves in hours, then turn back to scrolling. Conversations are littered with dismissive quips, with a lingering suspicion that nothing will ever change, so why try? To express real, lasting concern is to risk exhausting the room. Better to make a joke and move on. It sucks the life out of you, this unspoken agreement that nothing can be too important. It seeps into how we create, how we engage with the world, how we love. Reply times have to be carefully considered; not too fast, not too slow. You shouldn’t post too much (self-obsessed) nor too little (irrelevant). Your captions should be witty, yet effortless, enthusiasm measured, your presence felt - but not overwhelming. Every interaction is a calculation, a delicate balancing act between seeming interested and

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