A friend recently told me about an awkward encounter. A mutual acquaintance from our middle school days—someone he runs into occasionally—reached out asking for the personal number of a semi-famous person my friend knew professionally."Hey, could you pass along X's number? You must have it since she was on your show."My friend felt an immediate wave of irritation, though he couldn't quite articulate why. Yes, he technically had the contact. Yes, he could probably pass it along. But something about the way she'd asked for this favor struck him (and me) as quite off-putting.I want to unpack the “Why?” by discussing social capital - specifically, how we accumulate, spend, and sometimes inadvertently destroy this invisible currency that governs our relationships.What is Social Capital?I like the definition proposed by Robinson, Schmid and Siles in this paper, in which the authors argue that social capital does indeed behave like capital. They define social capital as follows: Social capital is a person's or group's sympathy toward another person or group that may produce a potential benefit, advantage, and preferential treatment for another person or group of persons beyond that expected in an exchange relationship.In this paper, the researchers defend this concept against critics who argue that social capital doesn’t behave like capital, by listing the properties of capital shared by social capital:Transformation capacity: Just as physical capital (like a factory) transforms inputs into outputs, social capital transforms sympathy into various services—economic benefits, social support, validation, and information sharing.Durability: Like physical capital that retains its identity after use (a tractor remains a tractor), social capital—especially family bonds—can remain intact even after multiple uses.Flexibility: Similar to how some machines can serve multiple purposes, social capital can be used for various benefits—from emotional support to economic assistance.Substi